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Ducks in a row
9th January 2025
WHAT’S GOT BIG?
‘Ducks in a row'
My ducks are absolutely not in a row… I don't even know where some of them are… and I'm quite certain one is a pigeon!
I love this perspective on the well-known phrase ‘getting your ducks in a row’, in fact the sideswipe makes a complete mockery of the desired intention of ‘being organised’, ‘having things in order’, the notion of precision, control or being regimented.
What does your ROW look like? And what is in yours?
I talk about this from time to time with clients. Some clients long for more rows (rows as in opposite to columns, not arguments; although to be fair I did have one client who longed for more conflict). Longing for more rows suggests that life is chaotic, unstructured, inconsistent and unpredictable. The prospect of anything resembling a row would be incredible, it would slow things down and give a sense of calm.
On the other hand, some of my clients wish for less rows! Yes, less rows!! A life less regimented, less precise, a life with less control, less perfection or lower expectations. Chucking in a pigeon would liven things up, relax things, make things more fun, reduce pressure or relieve stress.
It is always a fascinating concept, where are you? How much control do you have over the ducks in your life? Do you need more ducks? Or do you need more pigeons? Do your ducks have fun? Do your pigeons listen?
There is a real need for us to have a sense of perspective of how, when and even why our ducks exist; why do we even need rows and what are our rows even for?
Are our rows of ducks for our own wellbeing? Or are our rows for the eyes of others?
Do you only operate in ducks? Does it matter if there is a pigeon or two thrown in for good measure? Where is your line of tolerance drawn?
Operating only in ducks leaves no room for dysfunction. No mistakes, no mishaps, no blunders. No room for mess, noise, below par exam grades, spillages, dishes in the sink, unmade beds, the wrong car, the sub-standard bottle of wine or the out of fashion dress?
Again, why does it matter? Is the order for our own wellbeing, contentment or fulfilment OR for the eyes of others?
Operating only in pigeons may sound like fun. My goodness I’ve found myself in situations when there was nowhere else I’d rather be, but personally, I couldn’t be there forever. The pigeon existence conjures notions of both care free and mayhem. Excitement and chaos.
Aside of the hedonistic experiences, pigeons everywhere can lead to feelings of confusion, overwhelm, saturation, breathlessness, frustration, irritation, anger. Outcomes such as; often late, mistakes at work, deadlines missed, double booked, saying yes to things you’d like to say no to or everything that comes with being the ‘rogue one’, the ‘rogue couple’ or the ‘rogue family’.
Once again, are we rogue, carefree and ‘the crazy one’ because we want to be? Or because it is a role we play? We’d like to go home, but can’t be seen as ‘leaving early’, a need to be seen as the ‘fun guy’ not the ‘fun sponge’.
I’d suggest, on the most part, life probably needs a little bit of both. We need an ability to call upon our pigeons to lift the mood, take the edge off, chill things out and encourage the care less moments. But a good sprinkling of duck from time to time enables us to choose when we let the pigeons free, control over life’s how’s when’s and where’s and with who.
Single file pigeons anybody? Afterall, how boring would it be if we just waddled, single file everywhere we went?
Take care,
Matt