Welcome to my Blog
Healthy Emotion
12th November 2024
WHAT’S GOT BIG?
‘Healthy Emotion'
The conversation around ‘healthy emotion’ has been touched upon in a number of my client sessions recently and is an ever-present concept that I refer to during my workshops.
Our emotions are possibly the biggest clues that we have that let us know how we are genuinely feeling? A simple question that I ask all of my clients at the start of every session is ‘HOW ARE YOU?’.
The accuracy of the answer solely lies in our ability to reply GEUNINELY, HONESTLY AND AUTHENTICALLY.
Often, we can reply dismissively with pre-loaded, automatic comments like “good”, “fine” or “not too bad”
Sometimes with masked joy often accompanied with a smile, or with concealed hurt (same smile).
Maybe we react from the hip and in a race to the worse-case scenario; exploding immediately with anger or plummeting like a stone to sadness.
Noticing the power, strength and intensity of our feelings is essential in creating an internal barometer of emotion and can give us a clue as to HOW WE REALLY ARE.
- Feeling great? How great?
- Feeling amazing? How amazing?
- Feeling wonderful? How wonderful?
- Feeling sad? How sad?
- Feeling nervous? How nervous?
- Feeling anxious? How anxious?
- Feeling stressed? How stressed
- Feeling angry? How angry?
I work at depth with clients in an attempt to establish accurate scales of emotion. Scales that act as key indicators of exactly how things are. Scales that encourage a more considered reply.
It is absolutely essential that we experience emotion.
Prevent it – Encourages AVOIDANCE
Avoid it - Encourages REACTIVITY
Manage it – Encourages RESILIANCE
Take nervousness for example (often described as stress)
- In SPORT
- In SCHOOL
- At WORK
Not enough nervousness could suggest that we could not careless, our performance level is poor and the outcome disappointing.
- Beaten to the ball by our opponent
- Silly mistakes made in an exam
- Typo’s in a presentation
Too much nervousness, possibly caring too much could result in feeling overwhelmed and reactive.
- Punching an opponent
- Freezing in the exam hall
- Losing our words in front of the boss.
Healthy or helpful nervousness will often result in a performance that is high, pleasing, positive. We are on it or ‘in the zone’.
- A match saving tackle.
- An exam result in above predicted levels.
- A promotion gaining delivery of the presentation you nailed in front of the boss.
Classic ‘INVERTED U’ stuff for you sports psychologists!
World records are more likely to be set in finals rather than in training.
Having the ability to know how we are is incredibly helpful, sharing how we feel can be life changing.
So next time you are asked the question How are you? How will you answer?
Take care,
Matt